Up until today, my impression of Finland was the one that I formed in the 80's when I first heard Monty Python sing about it... Then, Keith, Jon, Asan and I took a quick ferry ride to see the Fortress of Solitude (Note: Name has been changed to protect the Spellcheck™)
Housed on an island, the fortress itself has been standing since the Viking era. (Note: Dates have also been changed to protect me from having to look up its real history. If you really want to know about this place, go to your local library, you illiterate animal. Also, thank you for reading this. Hearts!) (Also Note: No hearts for you!)
We're doing great.
Also on the island are several cafes, restaurants and various Öfficial Finnish Things Tø Dø.™ One of those Things: The Toy Museum!!!! Some of us were super psyched about this...
...and some of us are named Keith and Jon.
Upon arrival, the place smelled of cinnamon and friendliness from the little coffee shop located just inside the museum's doors. After paying the nice woman a modest fee, we stepped inside and were greeted by lots and lots of dolls.
Dolls who want to be our friend...
...dolls who are happy to see us...
...and dolls who are bursting at the seems with excitement!
"I'm falling to pieces!"
Dolls...
"We can see you."
...Dolls...
"We're doing great!, too"
...and more dolls.
I love you...PICK ME UP!!!!!!
We might have been a little terrified.
What...
....the...
F.
Seriously.
But I don't want you to think this was just a home for creepo dollies and their admirers. This is a toy museum. So you can stare at things like this fun 2-dimensional Jack in the Box...
...known in Finland as Jåck in the Bøx!
There's also this jaunty creature..
And no museum would be complete without a tribute to Finland's most popular character...
...Pöppÿ the Pørtly Døør tø Døør Salësmän¨¨¨. Because Finnish kids love people who aim for the middle.
But mainly, this place is all about the dolls.
Some are sickly...
...some are trying to help the infirmed...
...But can't help themselves...
...but most...
...are just...
...terrifying.
To say the least, we were pretty eager to get out of there...
...and return to the promised land filled with delicious cinnamon.
But on our way out...Keith started acting really weird.
"We should stay here... Everyone I know is here..."
He started muttering in Finnish to this thing...
...and then as Asan, Jon and I tried to leave, Keith shouted, "AFTER THEM!!"
"Cøme Play With Üs..."
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