Saturday, May 17, 2014


As everyone knows, Amsterdam is known for the three P's:  Pot, Prostitution and Places to Buy Cheese.

And those of you know know me well know that I've never smoked pot and my only experience in prostitution is that I'm paid to make reality television.  So, really, that just leaves the cheese.

BUT--this trip is all about Scandals.  So in an effort to broaden our horizons, Keith, Asan and his cousin Mayannah and I set out to do...EVERYTHING!

To say we were out of control is to put it mildly...

...or, we were super tired because we're a thousand years old now and we've been drinking our way through Scandinavia.  On our first night in town, the boys and I went to a place called Taboo...

...where we asked our bartender if they had a specialty cocktail.  They did.  

It's made of what seems to be vanilla vodka and cough syrup.  

It is delicious.  And strong.

 We may have caused a scene.


The next night, I'm embarrassed to say that I couldn't handle it.  We were at a wine bar for a while, and I was kind of passing out. The only thing that woke me up was when Asan spilled a glass of wine (and knocked over a candle, covering his hand with wax...  This, for the record, was the second glass he knocked over this evening.)  Maybe it was the pot fumes wafting through the city...but I needed to black out.  So they went to play while I was unconscious.

And they barely got into trouble, I'm sure.

For our Final Night in Amsterdam, we decided we should at least walk through the Red Light District, to see what it's all about.  But first, we had to walk through the lesser-known Dead Light District...

...which was pretty upsetting.  But not as upsetting, as it turns out, as the actual Red Light District.

Although the photos Keith took here actually kind of make it look picturesque and pretty, like the rest of Amsterdam, one thing you must know:  For each red light you see, there is a woman dancing, posing and, in one case, texting while they try to lure gentlemen into their rooms of ill-repute.  

What do they do on Take Your Daughter to Work day??

I'm no prude, but there was something...unnerving about all this.  Perhaps it's because we were at the Anne Frank museum just a few hours before.  Or perhaps it was because I'm more uptight than I think I am.

Or maybe, just maybe, it's because you could smell the Hepatitis in the air.

..or is that weed?  I don't know.  I'm very sleepy.

Either way, Amsterdam, at least you're pretty...

...can I have some cheese now?

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