Scandal... Oh F&#$!!

So it's finally here, well for some of us anyway.  Jeff and I both are heading out to London today, but of course we can't seem to coordinate anything well so Jeff was on a morning flight through Philly and I'm on a later flight going straight to London.

So I called up my favorite Uber driver "Dave" (who side note, is totally not named Dave, that's like when you call customer service and talk to "Susan", when we all know her name aint Susan)

                                      

So I get to the airport, pretty quick actually and I'm pretty stoked because usually when I travel by myself there is some sort of disaster that happens (i.e., the time I left stuff in the airport and just boarded my plane, or that time that I washed my wallet with all my credit cards on the first day of my trip, good times)

Most of you reading this already know this story, and already realize that I am an idiot and should not be allowed out alone.  But somehow I manage to keep convincing people that I am an adult.  Anyway, this time things are looking up, maybe I finally became an adult and didn't realize it!

After checking in I hop in the security line and that is when the first hints of bull-shittery start.  There was a passenger behind me, let's call her "Susan" (see above) and she is what I like to call a personal bubble breaker.  Meaning, those people that even though there is plenty of room they stand 1/2 of inch from you, despite the fact that you casually or not so casually give them the "back the fuck up" look.  It sorta looks like this...

               

Well "Susan" was not getting the hint so I spent the whole time in the security line looking majorly irritated.  I did my best to seem happy to the guy checking my documents, I think I failed.  And once I made it through I thought I was rid of stupid "Susan" and sat down to put my shoes back on.  But of course, "Susan" missed me so she sat down next to me, and by next to me, I mean on my hand, to which she didn't seem to mind.  Stupid "Susan" is very forward...and irritating!

I hurried up and got all my stuff together and ran away from stupid, gropey "Susan".  That is the moment went full on bull-shittery began.  Turns out I was in such a hurry to get away from stupid gropey "Susan" that I didn't take everything with me...

               

Noticing anything missing?  Oh yeah that would be my boarding pass! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!! I ran around like an idiot looking for it, but I sorta blended in with all the other idiots that don't know where they are going; thanks LAX International Terminal!

It was then that I realized that stupid "Susan" had won!

 Damn you "Susan"!!

But then, I say then, but really it was more like 20 minutes of panicking looking for the information desk, only to find out there isn't one. (Thanks again LAX!)  I realized that, for some reason last night I decided to download my boarding pass to my phone, just in case...

And alas, there it was, my stupid boarding pass! HAHA, stupid "Susan" you lose!! But really she wins, and it's proof that I am still an idiot and should not be allowed out without handlers.

Seeing that I haven't even gotten on the plane yet, this trip is starting out like all the others, oh god!

I need like 500 more of these!!  My plane boards in like an hour, lets hope I make it on it.  See you in London Jeff...maybe...